Featured Like Lil Wayne

I’m on tour for The Elite next month so I’ve been doing a bunch of interviews and guest posts lately. Today, I’m writing a guest post all about how I got into writing.

I’ve put this one off for two days now while I pondered the question and here in a moment I’m going to bust that out like I mean it. Hopefully. All I can tell you is, I still haven’t wrapped my head around becoming a published author. Even after hitting the Top 100 list several times, I’m still in a fog.

Things have started a little early. I’ve hit a couple blogs already, so I’m totally counting them. First off, I did an interview on Paid by the Weird with Lynn Townsend. I’m not positive, but I think that’s the first interview I’ve done. I’ve also hit Elodie Parkes’ blog, which you should check out right here.

Well, did you? Are you gonna? Okay then…

UM… Okay, next…

As I’m writing this, I’m shopping music on Spotify, putting together a playlist for another interview, and looking out the window at the gray skies and dripping rain. I say ‘dripping’ because this does not count as rain. It’s just wet enough to make a bitch irritated that I can’t kick the dogs out of the house.

Oh, and today’s music is not pleasing me. Artists should do something about that, please and thank you.

I have a certain love for Lil Wayne I don’t understand, so everything I’m hearing with him in it is tolerable. He’s just the cutest lil thing, I don’t know how to explain it. If he weren’t so cute, I’d smack him in the face and tell him to watch his filthy mouth. However, it’s like when a toddler cusses. It just hits the humor sweet-spot and causes a giggle.

The only thing better than Lil Wayne would be a Coey Cain Featuring Lil Wayne Tour. I think we would tear some shit up together. Hell, he’s featured on everyone else’s shit. Why not come on board with me and hang out? Obviously he likes hanging out with other people, and I’m cool as hell, so there ya go. Someone call his agent and make it happen.

Then I started thinking… me and Lil Wayne have a lot in common. He’s featured on everyone else’s albums and I’m being featured on everyone else’s blogs.


Things Are Looking Up

You know when you wake up in the morning and shit is just running smooth? Me either… but yesterday, some problems got worked out and that’s all I want out of life.

Maybe now I can get back to focusing on my real job, eh?

I’ve decided I need to start making lists for myself. Reason #1: I think I suffer from short term memory loss. Reason #2: I don’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing. Reason #3: What was I talking about?

::sigh:: I can’t remember…

So anyway, this old man comes to the house yesterday and knocks on the door. I’m thinking, “What the hell is this? Get off my property.” Right? I mean, I’m a borderline recluse at this point. I live way out in the country among farms and other like-minded folks who enjoy their privacy. Never mind the fact that I’ve not been able to eat dinner in peace in over a year. So, I’m pissy with the guy.

He starts talking and I can’t focus on what he’s saying because I’m mostly concerned about the dogs trippin’ out over the fact that some stranger is on the property, which is the most excitement they’ve seen in months. “What!” I demanded, because I’m being disturbed and all I want is this guy to fuckin’ leave.

He starts asking me about a cannon. Excuse me, WHAT? I can’t quote him because I wasn’t paying close enough attention to what he was saying. At one point, the puppies busted through the gate and I had to slam the glass door in the guy’s face to herd the dumbass dogs back to their secured area. Moving on… So, this guy is talking about a cannon, supposedly left on this property, and he wants it. You know what I’m talking about? A cannon that shoots cannon balls.

A Fucking Cannon!

A Fucking Cannon!

He mentions the previous owners and how he’s been talking to the “daughter” and the “brother-in-law” who said there was an old cannon from the 1800’s on this property… and he wants it. He’s some kind of Geologist and he’s interested in the “history”. Whatever.

I explain to the guy, “The previous owners are the previous owners.” They don’t own this land anymore and if he thinks, for one second, I give a shit what the previous owner’s “daughter” said about a canon, he’s out-his-damn-mind. You don’t walk onto someone’s property and start implying that the previous owners said you could have something. Everything and anything  that is here, is mine. Period. In other words, this old man is a presumptuous ass and he thoroughly irked me.

Back to work… life is ridiculous.